The Date That Was Not A Date
by Tijuana Pirate
Summary: A very light-hearted humour fic with a touch of romance. Cloud, Tifa, and Cid are out at a bar when they see Reno, Elena, and Rude walk in. AVALANCHE and the Turks? Interesting things are bound to happen


Author's notes: You know, interestingly enough, I got the idea for Fire and Water around the same time that I was thinking up this little story. Isn't that weird? Well, this is another one of those stories that changed a great deal after it's original conception. Of course, since the end product included both AVALANCHE and the Turks, I can't really complain. I mean, put those two together and interesting things *must* happen. Of course, the story isn't exactly what you'd expect. . . Heh, heh, heh. . .  
  
The Date That Was Not A Date  
  
"Hey," Cloud said to Tifa. "Look who it is." He nodded towards the three familiar individuals who had just wandered into the bar.  
"Ah fuck," swore Cid.  
"Let's invite them over."  
"What?" Tifa asked, surprised.  
"Sure, why not? To show them there's no hard feelings and all."  
"Cloud, there *is* hard feelings."  
"Yeah, but there doesn't have to be."  
Cid rolled his eyes and said nothing. Tifa looked like she wanted to forestall Cloud but he was all ready waving them over. *Great*, Tifa thought as she saw Reno, Elena, and Rude head over. *Just great*.  
  
"What do you think?" Elena asked Rude but he just shrugged.  
"What the Hell." Reno said indifferently  
"Are you serious?"  
"Yeah. Why not? Sides, I bet they'll even pay for the drinks."  
"They'd damn well better."  
  
Cloud waived at the waitress and ordered three more drinks. Reno winked slyly at Elena and she couldn't help but smile. Free drinks are always a good thing. There was a long silence and Cloud, feeling that he should play gracious host, decided to try and start a conversation.  
"So. . ." Cloud started. "What have you guys been up to?"  
"Well," Reno said, smiling impishly. "We could tell you, but then we'd have to kill you."  
After a short pause, Cloud laughed hugely. Tifa wasn't sure though if Reno was being serious or not. Cloud raised his shot glass and everyone followed suit.  
"To secrets," he said, downing the shot.  
"Secrets," answered Reno. After taking her drink, Tifa pushed back her chair and stood up.  
"I'll be back," she said and then headed off towards the washroom.  
"What's wrong with her?" Reno asked. "Can't hold her liquor?" Cloud grinned but shrugged. He was a little surprised to see Elena stand too though.  
"I think I'll go too."  
Cloud cocked an eyebrow but Reno shrugged. Cloud waved to the waitress again.  
  
"Shit." Tifa swore, seeing that she had smudged her lipstick. She rummaged through her purse, trying to find a Kleenex. Somebody tapped her on the shoulder and she turned to see Elena standing there, holding a tissue.  
"Thanks. . ."  
  
Cid rolled his eyes inwardly. Why the Hell had he ever agreed to this? It had seemed innocent enough at first. Well, maybe not. It wasn't exactly like he had jumped at the possibility of being a third wheel on Cloud and Tifa's date-that-was-not-a-date. After all, neither could possibly have feelings for the other. That was just crazy. He almost snorted but stopped himself. This was all so stupid. He couldn't believe that Cloud had invited the Turks. Of course, Cid almost hadn't recognized them without their blue suits. He supposed that he should've realized that the Turks wouldn't exactly run around shouting Shinra pride after Meteor but it still looked a little strange to him. Reno was wearing a white shirt over some blue jeans, his red hair semi-controlled chaos that a ponytail was trying to contain. Rude had a black shirt with jeans and Elena had been wearing a white mini-skirt with a red cotton top. Well, Cid thought glumly starring into his drink, this was almost as bad as being a third wheel. Tifa, along with Elena, had long abandoned him to the bathroom and Cloud and Reno were ignoring him. That only left Rude and he wasn't exactly a conversationalist. *Fuck this*, Cid thought. Without even bothering to excuse himself, he headed off. Halfway towards the exit he paused at a pinball machine. Why not? He smiled as he pushed in a quarter.  
  
"No problem," Elena said smiling. She looked at Tifa's now perfect lips.  
"Here," she said rummaging through her purse again. "You should try some of this." She pulled out a small, blue tube and offered it to Tifa.  
"What is it?" Tifa asked.  
"Lip gloss. It looks great over lip stick." Tifa shrugged and applied the offered gloss.  
"Hey, that does look kinda nice." She said, admiring her now coloured and sparkling lips. She then rummaged through her purse.  
"You know, I have a colour that would look so great on you. . ."  
  
Reno was enjoying this. By all accounts he probably shouldn't be. Strife and his friends had caused him unending grief when he had been working for Shinra. By all rights, there should have been oceans of bad blood between them. Heh, maybe he was a little more drunk then he thought. Still, he mused, looking over at Strife who was doubled over in laughter over something that Reno had said, it was nice to have an attentive audience. An audience with a sense of humour, he amended. Reno was kind of surprised by that. He'd always expected Strife to pretty much sum up Cloud's character but here he was, chilling in a bar. Not bad.  
"So, what've you been up to, Strife?"  
Cloud shrugged.  
"Not much. Tifa and I were helpin' out with the Rebuilding for a while."  
"Vacation from savin' the world?"  
"Yeah, somethin' like that."  
Cloud got a strange look in his eye and was quiet for a bit. Reno was puzzled.  
"What is it?"  
"Do you ever feel like you really have to do something but don't really know where to start?"  
"All the time man. Confusion's a way of life."  
"I'll drink to that."  
They clinked their glasses together and drank their shots down.  
  
"You know," Elena said looking at her nails, "I probably should have put on some polish before I left but I forgot."  
"I've got you covered." Tifa pulled out a bottle of bright red nail polish from her purse that matched Elena's outfit perfectly.  
"Nice colour."  
"Thanks. I think I'll put some on too."  
"Nah, this one'll look better on you." Elena pulled out a silver bottle. She was right; it matched Tifa's outfit of a short dark blue dress with a long silver pendant beautifully.  
"All right then."  
  
Rude looked over at his companions. He was bored. Usually when they went out, Reno was the one that did all the talking and he'd add things now and then. This time though, Cloud was doing his job. If Rude wanted the join in, he'd have to talk to Cloud too and, well, he just didn't feel like it. He looked down into his shot glass and considered leaving. Then, he heard a loud buzzer sound and someone yelling happily. Intrigued, Rude went to investigate.  
  
"Yeeesss! Jackpot!"  
Someone tapped Cid on the shoulder and he looked over.  
"Oh, hey Rude."  
". . . Mind if I try?"  
"I've got one more ball."  
He nodded and stepped over to the side, watching the game.  
  
"So. . ." Elena started as she applied red lacquer to her nails. "Do you guys come her often?"  
"No, we usually head to that place downtown on Terrace Street but it lost its license."  
"Giving it to minors?"  
"Nah, trafficking narcotics."  
"Whoa."  
"Yeah, that's what we said. So we came here instead."  
Elena was thoughtful for a second before asking.  
"So. . . are you. . . with Cloud?"  
Tifa shook her head.  
"No, not really."  
"Not really?"  
She shrugged.  
"It's. . . complicated."  
"Yeah, I figured."  
"What does that mean?"  
"Well. . . Cloud seems like a complicated guy."  
"Yeah. . . "  
Elena chuckled a little.  
"Strife and Lockheart. Very complicated."  
Tifa laughed low in her throat.  
"Very."  
  
Cloud waved over the waitress again. He was starting to lose track of the number of shots they'd had. He figured it was something like four. Or five. Maybe six.  
"That Tifa's a nice piece o work." Reno said.  
"Wha?"  
"Tifa. She's hot."  
Cloud shrugged.  
"'Suppose."  
"'Suppose?"  
"Tifa's a friend."  
"Just a friend?"  
"Yeah."  
"Why?"  
"Wha?"  
"There's gotta be a reason."  
Cloud was quiet for a little while before answering.  
"Don't think I love 'er."  
Reno grinned widely.  
"Who said 'nythin' 'bout love?"  
Cloud laughed but shook his head.  
"It's. . . complicated."  
"Yeah. I figured."  
They clinked glasses and drank it down.  
  
Tifa and Elena were both leaning against the counter, painting their nails.  
"Well, what about Reno?"  
"What about him?"  
"Well, are you guys together?"  
"Not really."  
"Not really?"  
Elena paused before continuing.  
"Reno's a great guy but. . . it's complicated.  
"Figured."  
"Yeah, well, life's a bitch."  
"It's too bad though."  
"What, why?"  
"Well, you know what they say about red heads, right?"  
"What?"  
Tifa leaned in close and whispered something in Elena's ear. The blonde girl flushed pink but then looked over at the brunette and both of them broke into furious laughter.  
"You know what'd be great?" Tifa said, wiping tears from her eyes.  
"What?"  
"We should do our toes."  
"Definitely."  
  
"Sounds kinda crazy dough."  
"Wha?"  
"Chasin' 'round 'fter some ghost."  
"Well, ben called worse den crazy."  
Reno chuckled and Cloud joined him.  
"Well," Reno said, "everyone's a lil bit crazy."  
Reno was a little quiet before continuing.  
"Ya know, I kinda liked 'er."  
"Yeah?"  
"Yeah. She was a good lady."  
Cloud nodded slowly and Reno held up his glass. Clink.  
  
"Ha! Beat that Rude! 12 342 678. That's gotta be some sort of record."  
". . . We'll see."  
  
Elena and Tifa were sitting up on the counter, wads of tissue paper between their toes. Elena pulled out a pack of cigarettes from her purse. She grabbed one for herself and offered one to Tifa.  
"Thanks."  
"No prob."  
Tifa leaned forward and let Elena light it for her.  
"Didn't know you smoked."  
Elena chuckled.  
"Reno's bad influence I suppose. I could say the same to you though."  
Tifa just shrugged.  
"I picked it up when I was still out traveling. I figured of all the things that were liable to kill me, cancer probably wasn't one of them." She took a long drag on the cigarette.  
"Hey, these are really good."  
"Yeah, well, Reno only buys the best."  
Tifa looked at Elena sideways but then decided to laugh.  
"Borrowed them, right?"  
"Yeah, that's what it was. Borrowed."  
Both women laughed and laughed.  
  
Two waitresses were standing behind the counter, eyeing the pinball machine.  
"Hey, have you seen those two guys?"  
"Who, them?"  
"I've never seen anyone like them."  
"Yeah, it's crazy. Pinball wizards."  
"Definitely."  
"How much have they ordered?"  
"I don't think they've had anything."  
"Man, what kind of guys come to a bar just to play pinball?"  
  
"Look out Rude!"  
An automated voice spoke from the machine.  
"CHAOS! CHAOS!"  
". . .Three balls."  
"You can do it man! Don't give up!"  
". . . Okay."  
  
"Well, what about those guys?"  
"Who?"  
"That blonde and that red head. They're kinda cute."  
"Yeah. . . but, I don't think they're your type."  
"Why?"  
"Well. . . it's just them over there and they've been talking for a real long time. . ."  
"You mean. . . God damn it."  
The second waitress shrugged.  
"The cute ones always are."  
  
"'ey d'you think dat them waitresses are lookin' at us?"  
"Who?" Cloud said, trying to swivel around. Reno grabbed him just in time though.  
"Don't look! Idiot! Can't let 'em know."  
"Know wat?"  
"Dat we know that dair lookin'"  
"I think dey know."  
"Dey know dat we know?"  
Cloud got a confuse look and shook his head.  
"I don't think that dair lookin'."  
"Course dey are. Best lookin' guys in da bar 'ight 'ere."  
Cloud laughed and raised his glass.  
"Ta waitrezes."  
Clink.  
  
"I have a question and it's been bugging me for a long time."  
"What?"  
"It's about Reno. . . I just have to know. . ."  
"Go ahead Tifa. It's okay."  
". . . Does he have really good abs?"  
"What?" Elena asked laughing  
"You know, washer board style. I always figured he'd be one of those kind of guys. Sit-ups every morning and all that. You'd know cuz you must have seen him working out in those fancy Shrina gyms."  
Elena took a long drag on her cigarette and smiled secretly.  
"Let me ask you something. . . Cloud. . . he must have really strong arms. You know, built."  
Tifa took a long drag and smiled as well. Then, she touched her forefinger and thumb together to make the 'perfect' symbol. Elena answered with her own symbol and both women doubled over laughing.  
  
"Fuck! I so could've had that one!"  
Rude patted his partner on the back in consolation of a ball lost.  
". . . You've got one more."  
"Yeah, you're right. I can do this!"  
Rude stood quietly by his side, encouraging him silently.  
  
"My god!"  
"What?"  
"I just thought of the perfect thing to do with your hair."  
Elena backed away from her slowly.  
"I don't know Tifa. . . my hair. . ."  
"No, it'll look great. Trust me."  
". . . Fine. I trust you."  
"Great!" Tifa cried, clapping her hands. Then, she started to run some water in the sink.  
"I'm gonna have to wet it. . ."  
  
"Tifa n 'Lena been gone long time."  
"Yeah."  
"Kinda weird, two gurls in a bath'oom."  
"Whatdaya mean?"  
Reno smiled a little.  
"Just weird. Two gurls. Alone. Long time."  
Cloud's eyebrows shot up.  
"You tink. . .?"  
Reno thought about it for a second and then shook his head.  
"Nah. Ain't possible. Dey got us."  
Cloud and Reno both broke out laughing. They raised their glasses in a toast, though to what, they couldn't really define.  
  
"Whoa."  
"See, I told you."  
"How. . .?"  
"I used to do Yuffie's hair all the time. It's about the same length of yours and the same texture. . ."  
After a little bit to creative combing and curling, Tifa had given Elena's hair more volume and more life. It looked lustrous and vibrant. She had even added a little tiny braid in the front that Elena could tuck behind her left ear just to give her a little more class.  
"Okay. . . My turn."  
"What?"  
"Sure. It'll be great. Trust me."  
Tifa thought about it before nodding.  
"All right. Sure."  
  
"Oh my god! 20 million!"  
Cid grabbed Rude's arms and spun around in a circle.  
"We did it! Amazing man! Just amazing!"  
Rude smiled slowly.  
". . . Let's go for 21."  
  
"Ya know Strife, y'aint sucha bad guy. Figured you'd be all uptight but y'ain't so bad."  
"You too 'eno. Maybe, thing's ud ben different. . ."  
"Nah. Prob'ly not."  
Cloud laughed.  
"Nah. Prob'ly not."  
Clink.  
  
"Oh my god." Tifa said, in awe. She spun around in front of the mirror. "I love it!"  
Elena had worked Tifa's long flowing hair into a series of interconnected braids that spiralled down her back. Both women laughed and hugged each other.  
"We look so good!" they both said in unison.  
"You know. . ." Tifa started.  
"Yeah," Elena finished. "We've left them alone for far too long."  
Both girls headed out together.  
  
"Whoa."  
"Yeah. Wow."  
Reno and Cloud were suddenly jolted out of their inebriation by an unexpected but well appreciated sight. Both men looked at each other, smiled, downed their last drinks, and chased after their dates.  
  
". . .They're leaving."  
"So?"  
". . .Yeah."  
Rude put in another quarter. 


End file.
